Suicide is NOT the answer


When that time comes around and everyone is pregnant we all joke about how we’re not drinking the water, because there’s something in it. Well, that time has come again, but there’s pain in the water and people are using suicide as their way of escape.

Do you know how dark it has to be to come to the conclusion that killing yourself must be better than what I’m facing? We have got to cling to Jesus. He is the only answer. He’s the light in the dark. He’s the healing to the pain, the filling to the voids. Every day I think, it absolutely cannot get worse, and then something happens that blows my mind – this thing is not natural.

There is something bigger than pain, bigger than emptiness that is pulling the trigger, creating the knots, swallowing the pills.

Today I pray that God wraps His arms around those who feel as if suicide is the answer. I pray He shows them their worth and how valuable they are and His purpose for creating them. I pray He covers them in Love, straps them with strength, drowns them in Joy and gives them a new perspective on Life and who He is to them.


Please – with the box.


This my friend, is living.


I’m not impressed with society’s ideal of success nor do I want to even attempt to measure up to it.

I’m not normal. I don’t care what the box looks like – – I’m not trying to fit the mold.

I thank God everyday for the path I chose. I did jump off the main trail and into the bushes, under the rocks and into the dirt, but I’m back! In the midst of all of that I still had standards. I still maintained (all part of) my beliefs. And thanks be to God, I came out with no children, no baggage and no responsibility to another person. *Insert praise break here*

What is my definition of success?

Joyful peace.

What makes me joyfully peaceful?

The simple things.

What are the simple things?

Traveling the world in an RV.

Walking barefooted.

Sitting in front of a bonfire with friends, laughing and telling lies.

Buying a winter coat from the thrift shop.

Paying for the meal behind me at the drive-thru.

Meeting like-minded people who believe that good still exists in the world.

You see, I’m a very simple girl.

Money doesn’t impress me.

Designer clothes do not impress me.

Looks aren’t impressive.

Positivity is attractive.

Happiness is a show stopper.

Being a Dreamer is a conversation starter.


My ideal of living does not involve a 3/bed 2/bath home, husband, 2 children and a 8-5 no weekend job.

I want to walk in my calling. I want to learn. I want to live. I want to be free.


God has given me the great pleasure of seeing 27. There is absolutely no reason why I am not living the desires of my heart.

I’m thanking God in advance for making a way for me to live my dreams – –

Signing off,





How Do You Rehabilitate a Caged Inmate?

I have been interested in criminals for a very long time. What makes people do what they do. What makes someone snap to the point of killing multiple people? What are the odds that one can come back from their act of violence and become a productive part of society?

This blog was inspired after reading an article about the top 10 Worst Immigration Detention Centers that should be closed. You can find that article HERE.

I have had/do have family and friends in the prison systems and every one of them testify the same thing: animal like treatment, eat like dogs, treated like crap. Now, I’m definitely not saying it should be a vacation by any means, but how do we expect inmates to do their time and be released back into society without the fear of them offending again if we don’t do anything to reverse or break their behavior pre-prison? What you don’t do is treat them like the scum of the earth, furthering their mentality of ‘no-one cares about me, why should I even try?’

One of my favorite shows is LockUp. It shows the reality of prison, the prisoners give their reality of the living conditions, the food and how they’re treated on a day to day basis. But even through the documentary, they have to be careful because when the cameras leave it’s back to life on the inside.

People do inhumane things, yes. But when you give someone 10 years for a horrific crime you don’t keep them caged until their release and wonder why they’re back in the system within a year of their release.

We have to have options for those who made horrible mistakes or for those who don’t know they can have a better life.

It’s impossible to take an abused animal who has been living a wild, uncared for life, fighting for its food, shelter and looking for some type of comfort and expect it to rehabilitate into an adoptable pet after keeping it locked up in a cage for the next 10 years of ‘rehabilitation’. If you’re going  to put an animal to sleep, they don’t take time attempting to rehabilitate it, there’s no point. But if you see hope, no matter how viscous or what acts of violence this animal has been a part of, you will try to make something happen because there’s always that chance.

Losing the right to vote- – That’s a whole different blog, but these were just a few of my thoughts concerning the treatment of convicted criminals.

Birthday Blog


I’m a day late and a few hundred dollars richer. Yesterday was my birthday! I turned 27! Wow- the closer that number inches toward 30, the more I realize how much time I don’t have left to get myself together!! 30 is my ‘I’m on my way’ age! I won’t have it all together, but I’m believing God that I will be settled down in an amazing relationship and hanging out somewhere in Mexico or something of the likes!

It was a great day though. I did not get to spend it with my mom or sister, which is a usual, but I am still incredibly blessed and had such an amazing time with those who took time out of their day to share my day with me 🙂

I decided I wanted to go to La Parrilla for a chill mode type of birthday dinner. It was awesome to laugh, enjoy people I consider friends and so thankful to God for another year here on earth!

My cousin Raymond told the people it was my birthday and of course they sung, which was fun but kinda like o-m-g all the attention is on me right now, this is weird! After we left La Parrilla I hung out with my cousin, Precious and we ended up watching ‘The Campaign’ with Will Ferrell. Other than me not thinking he’s funny (I know I know, I’m the only one) the movie sucked!

Anyways, it was fun times and I am looking forward to what God is sending my way 🙂

Operation: Snap Off

An incident happened some months ago that ended with me saying ‘that is THEE last time that they will EVER disrespect me.’ And I’ve kept that truth. A few days ago I was disrespected for the last time by another individual. This person has continuously disrespected me and because I was raised to never disrespect your elders and not taught how to handle them when they disrespect you, I have become a yes man under this person. Well, Friday ended that. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been here for 120 years, you have to respect those around you as well.

So, with that OPERATION: SNAP OFF is in full effect. I’m going to go to the word, before coming to you.. the word will tell me:

15 “If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

Now, after verse 15 and before verse 16, I’ma insert my own verse. 15.5 “SNAP OFF”. I am not one for confrontation, never really liked it. But, if I have to do something, I will. When disrespected, I’m going to let the person know; I feel disrespected and I really do not appreciate it and what I need to happen is for you to stop before it gets real. LOL! Okay, erase the last part, but I’m dead on about approaching folks and giving them the business.

My mama always said “Sometimes you gotta do things you don’t want to do to get where you gotta be.” And for me that means, sometimes I have to confront people I don’t want to, to allow God to develop me into the person He created me to be! Bold in this thang. We don’t do punk ’round these parts!

Anyways, good day folks 🙂

Didn’t vs Couldn’t [Quick Post]

I wrote a status last night on Facebook (duh) and in it I said ‘Thank you God for loving me when I couldn’t love myself.’ This morning I started to think after noticing I used the word couldn’t instead of didn’t. Is there a difference? Well, according to the extensive research myself there is. Couldn’t says even if I wanted to I had no way of making it happen, didn’t says the option was there, I just chose not to choose it. I often times find myself completely blown by God’s Love. It almost doesn’t seem real. Okay, sit back, close your eyes.. well don’t close your eyes you have to read this.. but really get in your imaginative position. Listen: (or read) Before you did all the ratchet stuff you did and the ratchet stuff you’ll probably do after reading this post, GOD STILL SENT HIS SON to DIE for us! If that ain’t love, I don’t know what is.

There isn’t a penis big enough, a chic bad enough, a joint that will get you high enough that should separate you from the LOVE OF GOD! I think once we get it into our tiny brains JUST what God has done for us (and only then) will we have a chance in Heaven.

Just some random thinking. Toodles (Who says that though?!)

Sólo hablo español..

El título de mi blog no es la verdad. Obviamente. Quiero ser fluido en español. ¿Cómo puedo hablar el español. ¿Por qué no hablo español, con fluidez? Estas son las preguntas que rondan por mí todos los días.

Gracias Google, por la traducción.

Every time I see a Spanish speaking person I am reminded how lame I am. Okay, pity party over.

I would love to say that I have been studying so hard each and every day and I am just not comprehending the language. But, then I’d be lying, which I stopped doing about 9 days ago. The truth is, if I wanted to be ‘fluent enough’ I would be. I make time for whatever else I want. Spanish isn’t just going to come to me, I have to study. What sucks the worst is, at one time, I could carry on a conversation in Spanish. Now, I’m struggling to say what I don’t want in my Pisto Manchego. It’s so frustrating. Yes I know, but it’s my fault.

I would love to say this is my plan and how I will accomplish my goals, but then I feel like it becomes something I’m held responsible to, and I don’t like that feeling. But here’s my plan: STUDY MY BUTT OFF! I just have to go IN. If I want to learn Spanish and eventually travel and become the wife of a long haired, Spanish speaking, God loving, sexy Latino.. I need to quit procrastination and get my life together.

Self-study vs. Classroom

Should I enroll in a class? I think being in a classroom setting will provide the discipline, but will lack in pace (waiting for others, or going on without fully understanding) because it’s not only about me. Self-study would provide me with going at my own pace, but will lack discipline. Uuugh.

I’ve got to figure this thing out. That’s it. I’m quitting my job, studying 40 hours a week, overtime on Saturday, double time on Sunday and should be fluent by my first paycheck.

❤ Que sueñes con los angelitos

Previous Older Entries

Black Girl, Latin World

Where fierceness, afrolatinidad and teatro take center stage

Vegans of Color

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African American - Latino World

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Me & the Mexican

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A community for bilingual, bicultural gente

my spanish obsession

Bienvenidos a todos. bookmark this blog under 'read when bored'..

Notes Of A Blogger

My Journey, My Life, My Notes